Another nightmare, but it wasn’t as bad as the one from a few days ago. I was trying to watch fireworks on a beach. There were so many people there on land and in the water, hardly any space to swim or move. The sun went down quickly and it was getting darker and darker. People were blocking my view as the fireworks started on the right side over the ocean. It was a beautiful site as it mixed with the bioluminescence and probably the best light show I’ve ever seen. I walked on a wooden platform, alone and distant from my family. I heard MeiMei calling for me and at the same time I heard a man yell “SHARK!” People were screaming and running, but the ones in the water were still unaware. I saw the fin directly swimming towards me so I raised my hands and gestured for the swimmers to come back to land. A handsome young caucasian/Asian teen glanced at me for a second, but it was too late. The shark bit him and the girl next to him cried in shock and it was chaos from there. He rolled in the water revealing the blood on his back, oozing up to his neck and beautiful face. (He resembled Taehyung aka “V” but more white and less Korean.) I saw him floating in the water with his face turned towards me and his eyes still open and lifeless. The shark wasn’t even that large, but it was not quite a baby. It had enough and swam away. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach and my throat, but it was time for the escape. Everyone was packing up and leaving. I ended up in a large wooden room gathering, I don’t know what; but I saw my former colleague, Aria. She had her son in one arm and I was helping her get what she needed and reminded her that we have a huge case of coconuts to take with us for some sort of event. She asked me to go get it, but I needed help because I knew it was very heavy. She left to the car without me. I looked at the coconuts and noticed that some were shaved and wouldn’t last. I tasted one and it was almost rancid. They were getting old and I compared them to the fresh Thai coconuts that I could see out the window. I didn’t want to take them with me and my other colleagues came and observed. They suggested to leave the coconuts behind. I felt so sad over wasted coconuts, it was strange.
I woke up at 11 to unexpected naughty messages from Dumpling, which immediately uplifted my spirit, but I was so tired because I didn’t sleep until 6 or 7. The dream left me feeling so uneasy that I do not want to see anyone today. I can’t remember the last time I actually saw Dumpling. It was probably June, September or November 2019.
The last nightmare I had was even worse! I was at my OLD parents’ house, looking for something to wear for my date with Sushi. I found a banana that was very old and moldy to the point that it had purple little flowers growing in the center of it. I showed it to my mom and she said it was fine, so she took a bite out of it exactly where the purple flowers were. I gagged as I watched her and told her she shouldn’t have done that! I ate a piece of the top earlier, but not the flower part and got a bad stomach ache. I was laying on the floor for a bit and heard my ChickenPotPie and StrawberryPie were leaving. They asked me to pack my things and move with them. Then Cheesecake was rushing us and StrawberryPie kept asking if I was sure I didn’t want to go with them. I was still undecided walking back and forth for a bit and looking for my mom. Then I started gathering my things, but I realized I didn’t need to bring anything. I went downstairs and saw SugarPie on the couch with his wife. Cheesecake and his wife were outside on the porch with StrawberryPie. As I opened the screen door, I saw a younger version of my father and immediately leaned in for a hug. ChickenPotPie snapped at me saying “That’s NOT DAD!” I suddenly remembered he already passed away. I backed up in confusion while the impostor was still smiling at me warmly. My siblings started questioning him trying to figure out what was going on. I walked off the porch and observed from a good distance standing in the snow. There was so much tension I started throwing sneakers and one actually hit him in the back of the head. He turned around and yelled, “WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THEM!” in a demonic voice with rage in his eyes. Then everyone else was trying to fight him. He threw black pepper at me, but I was too far for it to reach me. I tried to tie his head against the door way with a lot of black shoe laces (IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE!) but it worked. I yelled for SugarPie to come help us stab him with a knife or something sharp, but he stayed sitting in the living room. The scene was chaotic, sometimes ChickenPotPie was in the kitchen looking for a weapon and sometimes she was helping me hold down the shoe laces. Then he managed to escape and started splashing gasoline all over my siblings on the porch. At that point I was back in the snow watching from a distance as he lit the porch with a match. The house went up in flames and his sharp fingernail poked into my right arm as he grabbed me. I woke up with a heavy, deeply disturbed feeling wondering why I dreamt of another demon.
That day I was planning to see Sushi. I didn’t want to cancel on him again. He cleverly asked me to bring him lunch as assurance that I would actually show up. So I did my best to carry on. My mood was completely off. I wanted to talk to him about what happened between us, but he was working that afternoon and I didn’t want to disturb him. Out of all the days, it was extremely HOT and I got heat stroke. He asked me “How do you LIVE!?” I was so taken aback and didn’t know how to answer. This is my new normal since I last saw him, but I’m not sure if he was aware or not. Life is interesting because now it is the new norm for EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLD. I was extremely weak from lack of sleep, and I was fasting. It was too hot for me to have an appetite anyway, but I drank a green juice and I ended up losing my voice so it was awkward. I was uncomfortable, and wanted to go home. He kept me there longer and wanted me to draw. I asked him to draw, but he also didn’t want to. I had fun watching him, but at the same time, it was stressful because he wanted me to draw more or probably SAY more. He showed me his projects before I left. His creations are so cute, I wanted to take it with me. He kept my gift I had given him 3 years ago close to his station and it tore me up. Probably because I still don’t have the courage to TALK about what happened. I went home and immediately missed him and wondered why I even left. My heart was filled with joy and I felt healed even though it was still awkward. Then there it was when I got home, a huge black cloud filled the backyard. It looked like a volcano erupted. My nephews were freaking out and so amazed. My 6-year-old nephew was so funny after I told him there is a fire, he said cutely, “Call 9-1-1!” It wasn’t even that hot anymore around 14:00:00. I was reminded of the nightmare of the devil lighting homes on fire. I called my mom to check if she was okay. OMG I don’t even want to talk about the other nightmare I had with her and the monk! BUT in REAL LIFE, the monk was there in Dad’s room with her as I FaceTimed her! To be continued, it’s time for breakfast.
Quarantine 2019 