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10092020 12:00:00

This video is giving me mixed emotions. I feel a headache coming on. I do not even know why it’s in my YouTube recommendations, but I’m glad I watched it. It’s like my mind just expanded a little bit and it is in disbelief. I feel a bit sick thinking about being in their shoes and I hope to never be put in that situation or anything similar! But I hate to admit, it reminds me a lot of Dumpling and how I think he is a secret p-star. So I’ll take a moment to reflect and let go of the nightmares and all of the PTSD he caused. This video is triggering, but I feel okay today.  

Last night, I actually had a good dream despite my racing heart and rising temperature which lasted several hours. I went to lots of public places that I probably shouldn’t have gone to yesterday. I also pigged out on Thai food and got an extra blanket. But I am still cold as ice when I’m sleeping in the middle of the night, which is so strange because I have 5 layers of blankets! I do not need a heater because it will be too hot. Now I know I cannot eat Pad See Ew Beef. But it was so good, and smoky. Earlier this week I also had the best Spicey Ramen Noodles. I cannot believe I did not try a spicy flavored ramen, but it definitely beats every other flavor. This weekend I will get back to my plain diet, but I’ve been ok eating curry. I remember the last time I had curry at a Taiwanese restaurant a few years ago, I threw up and ended up in the emergency room. I finally introduced it back into my diet this week and I feel fine.  

Anyway, back to the dream, I was in a huge mansion with a large backyard. One of the rooms had a bed that can massage your back while you sleep. So I laid on the bed and got a nice massage the whole evening. I was with my cousins, but they disappeared. Then I had to look for them in the washing machine and they turned into tofu. My sister came home and asked me where are the babies, I felt like I lost them and I explained they were with me the whole time. I went outside to check the yard, but I noticed it was all dried up and there were no green plants and mostly yellow grass. My brothers pulled up in the drive way and I felt a bit shocked to see them. But then I got distracted by the huge house and wondered how I got there. I woke up, but I knew I was dreaming when I laid on the massaging bed.  

I had such a strange week. I remember I was driving and noticed that the moon looked super full and I wanted to ask Sushi what he was doing because we are overdue for an art night. I didn’t call him while I was driving on the freeway, but I felt a pull to go for a walk at the park to look at the big moon despite how sleepy I was. I was already in my workout clothes so I started walking and there he was! It was like seeing a unicorn! He told me to run with him while I was on my way to the restroom. And all of a sudden we ran into my hair dresser! We talked about food! LOL. That’s all I remember. It was a nice surprise, but it only happens “once in a blue moon” ahhaha. The next day was the actual full moon. I jogged that day, but just like a dream, they were gone again and never to be seen… 

The next full moon will be on Halloween. I have a dentist appointment that day. That means I will not get to have any good food or candy. I really want to try a pumpkin Reese’s Pieces. The reason I love October is all the pumpkin flavored goodies I cannot resist!  

It is about a week before it’s Dumpling’s birthday. He called me a lazy ass the other day. Pissed me off again. This is the worst friendship I ever encountered. We are technically not friends at all, but it’s time to officially block him because I do not tolerate BS from anyone! He did give me good advice though. I ended up taking another typing test yesterday and now I have to wait to take another exam. So I will be super busy this weekend studying and relearning how to do math one more time. I dunno why, I just keep forgetting how to solve math problems! It’s so annoying because it’s not even used for the job! I got 2220 for my keystrokes, which is pretty low for me, but I was very tired and cold and I couldn’t breathe with my mask on or reach the desk! The lady gave me a short chair that wouldn’t move up and cut my time in half because she talked so much and gave me the wrong directions to the location. But I’m thankful she gave me a slot that day on short notice and what matters is that I passed.  

The real question is…why am I taking these tests and why should I leave the comfort of my current position. I remember years ago I would yearn to be where I am because of its easiness and it would be great if I had a family so that I do not have to be so stressed out. But how will I make a family if everyone is quarantined? I cannot meet anyone at this rate and it might be too late by the time I do…I know now is not the time to bring life into the world, but Trump said we shouldn’t be afraid to live our lives and don’t let this virus stop us. Then again, Dumpling said do not listen to Trump! And sometimes we gotta do what’s difficult in life, even if it means marrying a p-star because where is the fun in life if it’s not challenging…


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