OMG I cannot wait until the weekend. The news is starting to look a lot like what was happening in China last year. If I take a moment to reflect on what I had done differently in my last year, I noticed a huge change. I stood up to my bullies and walked away from those who are toxic and selfish. I made amends with those who treated me poorly and forgave those who did me wrong. How did I forgive them? I watched a bunch of youtubes on how to let go and practiced a lot of different rituals to finally stop caring. What’s left is to enjoy the precious moments that I still have regardless if it is a short time or a couple years.
Yesterday, I found vegan mac and cheese and I got all types of cheese. I ate it until I felt sick, but the sickness would last a couple hours and it was totally worth it! So, yes, I cannot wait to go home and finish the cheese. It gave me strength to go back and exercise for hours at the park. It felt so good breathing in the cold air and gazing at the moon. It was nice seeing the group of random dancers exercising on the other side and seeing familiar strangers jogging in circles. I don’t want to post about the numbers of cases or deaths reported because you can easily find that on the news. But I feel that it gave me another nightmare after seeing the reports.
I dreamt I was jogging at the park when all of a sudden, all of the lights turned off because there was a new curfew. I couldn’t see where I was going. A man with pale skin and long hair like Edward Scissorhands was pulling me into the ditch beneath the trees. He wouldn’t let go of me. I was not too afraid because I knew I could escape. I saw the scene happen 3 times because I was trying to avoid him. I managed to escape the 3rd time I saw the scene, but I wasn’t confident I was in a dream. I just knew I had to escape the darkness and creepy man. I reached the house that was brightly lit. I saw ChickenPotPie and told her about the strange vampire looking man who tried to keep me captive. Her son tried to cheer me up. He’s all grown up now, no longer a little toddler. Yet, he was still super clumsy. I had to clean up a spill, I think it was just water. As I was cleaning, ChickenPotPie asked me if the video camera was accurate. I was watching the surveillance camera of the other room where she should be. I confirmed with her that they were not in that room and the video is just a recording of the past. Then it turned out I was in the house alone. So I started to do my laundry. I had 3 loads and they came home and asked why I had so much laundry. I was about to answer, but I looked out of the huge window and all I could see was gravestones. The entire backyard was an endless cemetery, which left me speechless and in shock…
I woke up before I could finish my sentence which began with “Why?…”
On a lighter note, BTS came up with the best song ever. It’s exactly how I would have wanted to write my new album. I haven’t had the chance to start yet because I’m trying to catch up on sleep. I feel like I have turned into mush. I lost my muscles! I really regret going to the dentist and listening to her. They completely lied about everything and now my jaw feels uneven. My bracket snapped off the other day as I was taking my ACV supplement. So now I have to go to the dentist on Monday after my exam to get it fixed..I think this is a lesson I have to go through–to not be so overly trusting and to make better decisions.
Quarantine 2019 