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02102021 09:32:00

I feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the foot today. It must be from my cheat meal yesterday. I don’t think I can fast for two days. I don’t know why I even tried again. I stretched it to 23 hours yesterday and remembered that the last time I did 3 days it was a disaster and I told myself I would never do that again. I was shaking and felt like vomiting the moment I started adding food back into my system. I cannot take that risk this time since I am not on vacation or anything and I have to be around people. I deleted my social media so that I can isolate and avoid people or else I will bite their heads off. I’m not always so irritable but this is what happens when my eating pattern is off. Yesterday I felt like eating liver, but I wanted to try something new. I got Yen Ta Fo. I had no idea what it was, but the highlight was the white mushrooms that reminds me of jellyfish. The soup itself is more like a diluted Sweet Chilli sauce. I must’ve been hungry since I finished the whole thing and overstuffed myself. I tried to walk it off and exercise, but that just gave me indigestion and I was burping most of the time. So this morning I gained 3 pounds, I’m back at 88 and I cannot fit into my leggings!?? (Only on my right leg, the rest is strangely loose). I think my leg is uneven from driving. Someone needs to come up with a different way to accelerate, please… When I got home, I had an urge to drink everything including stinky apple cider vinegar. It was no longer stinky and I wanted more! I only took a sip, but it was enough to give me a strange dream:

I was stuck inside the body of a large warrior who was about to enter a contest. He had full control of the body and I was observing through his eyes. He entered the rink courageously and full of confidence that he would win. He had a bow and arrow and shot at all of the anacondas before they could strike. He was crowned the champion and the crowd cheered him on to the hallway. The host, who looked a lot like Ryan Seacrest told him to go back to the room with all of the snakes to get some rest. There was a bed in the corner on the other end. As he was laying down, he noticed something was off. One of the anacondas was still alive and moving. This time he had no weapons on hand and he was already leaning back on the bed. We could see the bottom half of the snake, but it was too late. The anaconda bit us on the back and I woke up in pain. I can feel my muscles moving in the spot of the bite, but it was a good sort of pain as if my knots were coming undone. I love those types of sleep where I feel like my muscles are healing and I am no longer numb on one side of my body. I don’t like feeling the ache, but at least I can feel again.

So that means I’m not in the mood for anything or talking to anyone. I am completely done for today even though it just started. It’s days like these where I need to be extra careful not to snap at random people. I get mad road rage and I’m not even in a hurry to go anywhere. It’s bizarre. It’s not like I can even fall back asleep if I wanted to nap. I can feel a tightness in my chest. If I move my left arm a certain way, my heart will hurt. At this rate, I think I should stop lifting and only do leg day and super slow cardio. But my life feels so incomplete when I cannot practice any martial arts like these kids in the video below. I guess they don’t have to quarantine over there.   


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