05282021 11:11:00

Taka…this song is too sad. =[ BUT sometimes it’s necessary to express these types of feelings. This song came right on time for what happened to me this week. I tried so hard this YEAR to accidentally relapse the other day. I was not thinking clearly and the only thing I had in my mind was to not get that spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-a! So I grabbed a Hibiscus Ginger Kombucha and now I’m full of regrets. It tasted delicious for the first sips, then I got drunk and I couldn’t sleep. It felt worse than the first night of trying dry beer–My gawd! It’s been hell all over again and my symptoms came back so badly, I finished an entire block of white cheddar cheese and a cup of vanilla greek yogurt. You guys, I don’t like vanilla, but that was so good, I was clearly not myself! You might be wondering, why is that stuff even in my fridge. You know what, I don’t remember buying it. That’s how cloudy my mind has been and I swear the thing inside me is controlling me like crazy. I also bought a bottle of herbs and started overdosing yesterday. It really works, because I’m dizzyAF AND the creepy crawly feeling is back in my toes and other places I don’t think about… So how did I manage to drive today? I don’t know…I don’t know if I’ll make it back home tonight… I’m chugging water like there’s no tomorrow. 


What’s worse is that I even had a dream about BanhBao! He asked me to watch Mission Impossible. -_- …what is that supposed to mean!? Probably nothing …but I feel like drinking more Kombucha, I think I’m addicted now. 

On a lighter note, I need a pick me up from BTS  because Taka was making me feel way too sad on top of my sadness. Usually One Ok Rock is uplifting, but I hope their new album is not super depressing like their new song. I mean, I like his voice, but if he feels like giving up, then all I have to say is that it’s OK to retire now. I know your voice is hurting from years of singing and your fingers are bleeding from the strings and your arms feel like falling off from banging on those cymbals. I am so grateful for all that you’ve done, I hope you find peace and don’t give up –just go relax on a hammock. I really want to go to the hammock cafe in Japan, whoever thought of that is genius. There’s so much more to do than to be a king on stage you guys! If I were you, I would hang out in the onsens all day long for the rest of my life. BUT WAIT TIL I GO SEE YOU IN CONCERT FIRST OK!

I could watch this dance all day…It’s so smooth, I’m mesmerized. I remember when I first started this site, it was filled with BTS…Now it’s filled with One OK Rock because I’m so in love with Taka. I didn’t think I could be more obsessed with anything other than BTS, but somehow OOR did it–I would give you my heart if you asked for it.

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