Unbelievable, the FDA is going to approve pfvizer just so people are more willing to take the vaccine and employers are forced to mandate the shots and fire those who are not vaccinated. I am at a crossroads. If I cannot decide, I will have to flip a coin. Part of me is saying there is no way that I will accept the vaccine. I can hardly survive from bee venom. Ever since the sting, my heart hasn’t been the same. It’s been aching and I have random murmurs and worse muscle aches. So many people came to the office today. Someone gave me a muffin. I didn’t know what to do other than to eat it–So I ate half. I felt nauseous and my heart was racing a couple hours later and I had to take Aleve because my tongue started to feel strange o_O. Employees need to submit their proof of vaccination by mid September. I’m not sure if I can do this anymore. I’m starting to have a bulge above my right eyeball. I think the only way to get rid of it is to stop working. That means if I leave, I will need to learn how to farm indoors and live in the snowy mountains far away from society. Moving is so extra complicated now. It’s hard to imagine what life will be for the next 5 years. This is absolute social suicide…but also social distancing. I was once asked why would I want to live longer. To this day, I still do not have an answer.
I consulted with my hairdresser this weekend who told me he willingly got pfvizer. I was shocked at first, but then if he is truly a secret samurai, then it makes total sense why he wanted it. It would be so easy to just give up and let the CDC decide my fate, but that means I’m going to be a robot for the rest of my life! I don’t think I will reach retirement if I follow their rules. …I never even take the flu shot, how could they expect me to take any of these vaccines! URGH, I’m mad. I’m gonna be mad for a long time. This is my last post because I am running out of time and have to plan very carefully my next move. Once I leave, I will no longer have wifi, a phone, a computer…basically I’m going to be one with nature, free from vaccines and politics. I will retire and practice martial arts in the Forrest and swim with thousands of fish in the lake, and then slide down snowy mountains. I might turn into a white walker this winter, but at least I’m finally free.
I’ve had strange dreams that I cannot understand. Last night I saw my mom and her siblings. She ran out of soup, so I had to eat my noodles dry. I wanted to share the rest with my sister, but she didn’t take any. I didn’t want to eat. I think that’s the point of the dream, I was thirsty and had no appetite, which was how I felt last night and right now. No matter how much I drink, I am still thirsty and just super full that I cannot even walk. Oh and my mom ran out of soup because she left the stove on. I think I need to warn her about her stove top. When I fell asleep again, I dreamt of buying christmas gifts for BanhBao’s family. He was in the aisle with me telling me to stop shopping for them. I told him these were great deals and I was making a list of all the gifts I needed. I cannot believe I’m dreaming about them again, it’s so stressful, it doesn’t make any sense. -_-
The night before I dreamt I was sleeping and happily hugging a golden retriever. He was so adorable and nice and super fluffy. Then I stared at a tree and lots of baby owls started flying above me, at first I thought they were mini bats, but then they transformed into owls. One flew on my left finger and just stared at me with his cute googly eyes. I held him and pet him until I woke up. That was the only happy and peaceful dream I’ve ever had this year…OH wait, I remember my other dream about meeting Taka and One Ok Rock in the parking lot, that was also my happy dream this year, I hope it comes true!
This is my final and official goodbye. If I do get vaccinated, I will not blog about it. You can find me in my vlogs if I survive.
Quarantine 2019 