05012020 23:04:20

FINALLY– I had a good dream! It has nothing to do with demons or the coronavirus and I had a very productive day. (I learned how to fall asleep with earplugs so that I wouldn’t get woken up by the construction workers next door.)

I dreamt of my elementary school. It had so many new rooms that the doors had numbers listed in the 400s and there were 3 floors. It was so beautifully built and I saw all of my classmates. My 3rd grade crush told me that I was a very shy and quiet person. He was jumping into a sink and his partner was my 2nd grade “best friend”. The students were working on some sort of project in a kitchen setting and I remember them experimenting with balloons and having fun. I saw my 7th grade crush and he just smiled back at me like he always did LOL. I went outside and saw the “it” girl from 6th grade and sat next to her while she was drinking orange juice with the guys who I do not remember. We were waiting against the wall for “recess” to be over. Then I saw my 12th grade AVID teacher coming from the 3rd floor to ask me something, but I brushed him off pretending to be “too cool” for his concerns (which is super weird because I had a crush on him in real life sometimes LOL). Recess wasn’t over but I went back inside the school which turned into a train station. I was immediately drawn to a toddler who was possibly half Japanese. (I just had an inner knowing that he was Japanese because he was next to a girl that I knew who is Japanese/French–Let’s call her Paige) He was smiling at me and standing next to a man that looked just like him. (He looked a lot like a cute Chinese man I met from tinder but more handsome in the dream!) I crouched in front of the baby and was so uplifted by his spirit and kindness that exuded from his every being and asked him, “Do you like me? Do you want to stay with me?” The baby nodded in excitement and I gave him a kiss. Then all the girls at the station walking by came and kissed him too. I said to him “HEY, you kiss EVERYONE!” He continued to smile at me. I was captivated by his charm. Before I woke up, I think Paige carried him and they went off, I’m not sure because a noise woke me up. BUT I was very happy because I met that baby and I felt so good when I woke.

So naturally, I asked my friend, Popcorn about Paige and told him about my dream and the possibility of Paige being pregnant with a son. He told me that she was supposed to get married in May, but now she can’t because of the coronavirus. It sucks that life events have to be on hold. I just watched a video about Brazil and how thousands of people are getting buried without a proper funeral. Does that mean their ghosts are roaming around aimlessly and angrily because they lost their lives before they could fully live it?! It reminds of this one place where a lot of lives were lost during a war and whoever takes a photo in that location gets a piece of their limbs smudged out. It’s so creepy. So if the photo is affected by real ghosts from war, then what would these new ghosts do… aaaaah I don’t want to think about it anymore…

OH YEA and Dumpling messaged me again today, but he did not even answer any of my questions. Then he complained that he doesn’t have time to watch any YouTube because his work schedule is completely full all day everyday. HAH ya right, if this guy keeps making all these excuses while we are “friends” then I can’t imagine what he would be like if we were officially together. But since I had a dream about the cute toddler, I know now in my heart that Dumpling is not for me at all. So I said my goodbyes without regrets. I am ready to move on and find a life partner that suits me better and be a good father for my children …Sushi messaged me yesterday, but I really don’t know what he wants. He once asked me for reciprocation, but that takes time. We can’t build anything together during this pandemic especially when we’ve lost our freedom and I’m stuck “homeless, jobless and in limbo!” We can’t date or get to know each other better while social distancing like this! I dunno what to do…

I ate chicken and potatoes today. I think I started adding flax seeds to all of my meals and it gave me a stomach ache. I’m not sure what is causing me to be super bloated. I am shaped like a pear now even though I’ve been walking or jogging on the treadmill daily. I’ve reached my goal of 3 miles now! So tomorrow I will aim for 3.5 miles. BUT my legs especially my calves have been cramping or throbbing! So I would practice intervals of 15 minutes 3x a day. Sometimes I get too into running and just do a full hour. It’s not working though, I cannot fit into my leggings 😦 and I feel like a blob! I try to fast for 18 hours but I really can’t do Keto when everyone around me keeps eating cheese and ice cream.

I am officially mentally drained today! Matrix is now free for the public and we can learn anything we want! I started learning Python, Photoshop, Project Management and Social Media. As you can see, it was all very boring because I had to switch subjects constantly! Also, I listened to 3 audiobooks, but they were also boring and useless to me, so I won’t bother listing the titles because they are not on my “good reads” list. Then I learned how to make Mother’s Day CAKES and Brulee Thai Tea ^_^! I would love to taste them, but I’ll try my best not to anytime soon. GOODNIGHT.

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