07102020 12:50:00

It’s hard for me to watch series, mangas or sometimes movies. I once finished a drama within 3 years. It had about 30 episodes, I thought “Descendant of the Sun” was very good but it was a bit heavy. And I usually never remember how anything ends, so watching the ending was never important for me. I also tend to start multiple shows before finishing one, which is proof that multitasking is ineffective for me. This is why my manga and music takes forever to finish. It’s not an excuse, I just want to take my time and make sure I deliver good content for you. I finally met Sushi and did what I should have 3 years ago. I apologized in person one more time to make sure he was OK. We finally agreed to put it all behind us and are at peace with each other. I learned my lessons and faced my karma and will treat others the way I want to be treated—pretty much grow up, show more respect and take responsibility for one’s actions. Dumpling on the other hand is still a mystery for me because I still have nightmares and it feels like I have PTSD. It just takes time to heal these sort of things, but now I know why I had to meet him in the first place—so that I can see how badly I treated Sushi who was so innocent and loving. I did not even expect Sushi to agree to meet with me, surprisingly he wanted to actually jog—despite the fact that he was exposed to COVID-19 and had to get tested. I was apprehensive, but felt it was time and I have nothing left to lose. I was also afraid that I might infect him because I think my colleague has It since she has been coughing and sneezing all week. I just had a meeting in her office and right afterwards I felt super sick! My throat felt strange, there was maybe a metallic taste or numbing on my tongue. I felt like sneezing and then I started to get a headache and eventually a stomachache. I was so uncomfortable but I don’t think Sushi noticed. His presence calms me and I feel lighter when he is around, like I could fall asleep. Or maybe I’m just always EXTRA sleepy around the times we meet. I’m not sure why anyone puts up with my fatigue, even I can’t stand it. Oh that reminds me, Dumpling was a jerk this week saying how I have a contagious energy of doing absolutely nothing and having no goals in life. Well duh, I’m trying to rest and reserve my energy when we hang because I’m always busy when he is not around. Just because I’m not chasing money, gambling or figuring out stocks, doesn’t mean I’m wasting time. I can live my life how I want to, and he can go be stressed out all day long about how he lost 10k everyday! How can money make anyone happy when everyone else is ill or gone? Sure it’s not his problem and he can seclude himself in his own virtual world getting lost in hours of League of Legends or CounterStrike wannabes but that’s not how I want to live anymore.

I went a little crazy for chicken this week. I even dream about looking at delicious chicken. Sushi was kind enough to take me to a very good place and wanted to let me compare chickens everywhere. I was tempted to say yes, but I didn’t want to over eat yesterday. I wanted Chick fil le, but it was closed. I ended up eating chicken karaage which is probably my favorite snack now. It goes well with my salads that I eat every day for lunch. I like salad so much now, but I hate spinach to the point where I dream about stinky spinach.

Last night I dreamt of being in a van and my cousin brought boba for every one except me. I was so thirsty, I jumped out and got ice in the kitchen. I pretty much ditched them all and just stayed in the house. I woke up to an empty water bottle.

Dream 2: Dumpling was making me excited to join him somewhere in a mall. There was hardly any space and we were discussing how to get comfortable in front of strangers. Then all of a sudden, he calls another girl over and makes me wait. I was so upset, it was my other colleague from a few months ago. I felt so betrayed by them for a moment, then I left and I think woke up pissed at Dumpling. The next day was when he actually texted me all that crap about being unambitious. He is so annoying now.

Dream 3: I said no I don’t want to eat spinach, it is so stinky I feel like vomiting! So chicken karaage appeared in front of me. I stared at it until I woke up. Yum, what a nice dream. It looked just like the one I ate yesterday.

Dream 4: The iPad screen was shattered and I was devastated. Then my nephew punched it and broke the screen even more. That’s all I remember at the moment.

Today, my symptoms faded. I had an ok sleep. I will go jogging after work and hopefully have a good weekend. So far I feel a slight pain in my bladder, but that has nothing to do with COVID-19. I’m trying to drink as much water as possible all day long. I just found out I will not have insurance until September, but that doesn’t matter because I do not want to see a doctor anyway. It’s not like their tests even work.

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