02182021 20:55:00 Race

The hate and racism is so real. It is building up more and more as people are quarantined and finding someone to blame. The news about the elderly keep popping into my stream. So I have to finally say something about it because I’ve had enough.😾

It reminds me of the movie IP Man 4: The Finale. We need to defend ourselves and learn martial arts. If I saw someone about to attack, and I’m close enough, I would risk my life and attack the culprit. I was actually in the training on how to help during hate crimes. All I learned was: to do what is safe, and to not escalate the problem. But my personality type is making me choose otherwise. This is why I stopped watching violent shows and anything that would enrage the demons inside of me 😈.

…I have zero tolerance for basically anything or anyone because fasting is so hard sometimes. I get irritable so easily. So it’s best for me to stay away from people—especially those who are annoyed standing in lines, or waiting in car lines honking and being rude. I’d rather starve than get some food I can’t even chew. I was fooled by Raising Cane’s today thinking they serve cheese dip like Portillo’s but it’s just some random orange ranch sauce. The girl taking my order was so rude I was about to drive away. But I already waited over 20 minutes in the car line. I understand she is standing out doors probably hating her job, but girl needs to learn customer service. She is also Asian so this was probably not a hate crime, but I couldn’t see her face under her mask so I don’t know which type of Asian she might be. But then again, Asians tend to hate on other Asians too. Anyway, filming doesn’t help, it’s like tattletale to a random group of people who can’t do anything about it. You’re going to post it online and say, “Hello strangers, look at these people being jerks. I’ll never see their faces again, and they won’t see this video and no one will change. But at least you’re going to write comments that will clog my inbox and argue with each other online.” … ya, no thanks, I will skip recording and documenting and go straight for the eyeballs—or other balls. That’s why I have sharp claws. I’ve been described as “silent, but deadly,” so watch out, attackers, you will not last very long next to me. LOL, just kidding, I’m super frail and can’t run anymore. 😅So basically I’m in the same boat as the elderly at the moment. Maybe I should get some shurikans, but I need to practice my aim.

I still have a lot to learn. Another strategy is to distract and de-escalate. But when it comes to a violent act, I am still unsure of what I would actually do if I saw it in person. I think I will not freeze in the moment and will run toward the action. There was a time when a thief thrice my size was running towards me with a purse and I dodged him. It was too late when I heard the woman yelling for help and realized what I just missed. I should have tripped him, but that would have broken my leg. I feel like I need to carry around a staff like Gandalf. …Nah, I’ll just stay inside and quarantine peacefully and comfortably in my bed.

I’ve been stress eating since my reunion with ChickenPotPie last weekend. I had Chick Fil A, karaage curry rice bowls, duck, duck noodles, and tiramisu cheesecake. Lots of carbs and sweets! I fell off the wagon and need to start intermittent fasting with healthy foods, not junk! But that bread from Raising Canes was so delicious 🤤, I cannot believe I was missing out on soft buttery goodness—Ah! Once again, I’m very sick, so I have started another round of boric acid and stopped drinking apple cider vinegar. I must eliminate all alcohol or else I will be super dizzy and even more cranky. I have no idea how my coworkers can work with me. This is why I should retire early. I feel like I’m Jack Skellington pretending to be Santa Claus—when can I wake up from this nightmare?

I had a wild dream last night that all my teeth fell out. I’m so scared of what’s to come soon, but at least I know something bad is going to happen and I’m prepared to brace myself for it. 😰I hope I fall asleep tonight. 🤞🏻

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